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Precious Time
Blogs - Diary Of A Desi Single Mom
By Desi Single Mom   

Desi Single MomIt’s been a while since I wrote. The kids kept me busy during the summer, and when they were at their dad’s house, there was just too much work to do.

Today’s ramblings are a reminder to all those parents out there that take the time with their children for granted. I used to be one of those mothers too. Sure, I spent time with my kids and enjoyed the holidays with them, but I was also glad to have them back in school so I could have some time to myself.

It’s when you have to share your children with your ex as well as the school that you realize how fast they’re growing and how little time you have with them. I now value each and every moment of the time I get with my children.

This Eid, I met a lady who is one of the few that have been supportive of my decision to leave my husband. We were talking about children and the end of summer vacation. She told me that her youngest daughter is now in 6th grade and when she went to meet her daughter’s teacher, she realized she had never walked down the 6th grade corridors before. She said she never went to a single one of her older daughter’s school events, but her younger one would force her to go.

I didn’t want to say anything judgmental to her, because this is truly one of the most supportive people I know in the city, and I’m not looking for more enemies… but she touched upon a sore subject.

Precious TimeSince the day my oldest daughter was born, my only identity was that of a mother. I always went to all of my children’s school events. Each and every one of them. My husband didn’t. He is now fighting me for custody and pushing himself into all school related issues, regardless of whether there is any sense or not. He could have received the “Father of the Year” award from our children’s school based on last year’s performance. I, on the other hand, have half the week to find a new identity besides “Mother.” The fact that the hostility between us and the tension it creates for the children is a different issue. The purpose of this post is not to bitch about my husband, but to grieve on the loss of my time with my children.

All I ask is that you give your children time and nurture them from day one. They will grow even if you don’t have time for them or if you criticize them. I just think they will grow better if they know they are worth our time. Whether you’re a single parent or you live with your spouse, your children need you. They are a gift. Please value them.

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#2 Sindhi Chokri 2014-12-08 22:03
Hi! I am also a 38 year old Desi American mom of 2 little ones who is also divorced. My journey started 3 years ago when my husband decided a family is too much for him and "not what he wants."

I am also struggling with time away from my kids and having to find a new identity half the week. I am trying to figure out in the middle of this pain and being a mom to also come across as interesting and appealing so that I can one day hope to find someone.

I enjoy reading your blog and please check out mine as I have just started one.
#1 liz 2014-01-24 15:04
I really regret that I.m no longer living with my daughter now, a 22 year old girl. She's now living with her aunt's family. I really missed all those happy moments with her. I'm sad to say that we were not friends before. We used to quarrel a lot before than to be friends and understand each other. I regret that I was not able to spend my precious and quality time with her now that she is gone. So... you parents even that you"re a single parent, you should take care and nourish your children with all your love because we can never retrieve our long lost time wasted for nothing.

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